Short Hair Made My Make Up Game Strong

I've always been extremely comfortable wearing short hair.  As I am aging gracefully,  my weight and facial features have changed.  I probably took most of my hair off in 2013. I had an extreme high undercut leaving just a a couple of inches on top of my head and my sides were razor clean fading up to a "1" on the clippers ( trust me it was very clean, skin clean ) At that time I was weighing in approx. 92lbs and did not have much curves to my body; which led my friends joking about calling me a confused " girl " or " boy".  I was approached by more women, actually to think of it by only women; I was non existent when it came to men.  I would get the occasional compliment here and there, giving me more credit on being able to rock the short hair rather a phone number exchange ( I'm old school ) .  It never bothered me that men weren't digging the look. I am extremely comfortable in my skin more than I have ever been before ( read more here ) Although, I did attract a lof of creative / industry people who wanted to photograph / film me ( which was always nice as it gave me a confident )

2012 - Make Up Game Weak !

Hair frames your face, so when you don't have much hair, you're exposing much more of your face. I would consider that my facial feautures are  soft features, I naturally always had that round baby face.  There wasn't much definition to my face unless I exaggerated it with makeup.  This is when I really stepped up makeup game.  Although being a makeup artist with ten years of experience at the time, I would think my makeup game was strong.  Boy was I wrong! Although I was great at applying makeup on other women, I didn't feel feminine the way I applied makeup on myself.  So I decided to do some serious makeup research.  I started following and studying women that I admired esthetically that also had short hair and observed  how they would applied on their own makeup. Another huge influence was the Hit Reality ShowRu Pauls Drag Race, which opened another door to Drag Makeup which is a new obsession of mine because watching men transform into women just effin magical.  I even enrolled myself to art class where I studied and practiced how to draw portraits / faces to understand more of the facial structure and alignment ( golden ratio ) .  

It was only then did I really step up my makeup game!  Shaving my head has been the best thing that has happened to my career.

What do you do when you want to feel more beautiful? What inspires you?

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4 am knows all my secrets

Whether it is 2 am or 4 am,  these are just vulnerable hours. There are some biological reasons why bedtime can feel harder to manage.  It's possible that during the day it's easier to control our thoughts because our minds are constantly occupied or maybe it's just sheer will power. Apparently our brains lose their capacity for balance and control, especially when you're tired from lack of sleep. This is why it's important to create healthy sleeping habits

We tend to slow down and unwind as we approach the evening. We don't have as many interactions with other people, no deadlines, no pressure etc. Naturally we just unwind before bedtime and  slowing down can make you more aware of the emotions you may have store aside during the day. 

As I reflect more deeply, I am realizing that there are many levels of experience that I have around this. I used to stay up all night just finding myself scrolling on tumblr  just looking at what my friends would categorize as depressing content. I would justify it by saying that I was able to find beauty even in the darkest places. I realized I was procrastinating sleep, staying up later than needed  simply “killing time” in some way – instead of easing right into a good sleep.  

I decided to look into different options to make my vulnerable nights less heavy and build good sleeping habits.  The first thing I like to do is to measure the magnitude of the vulnerability I feel. Is it an indication that I have been ignoring the majority of my feelings? Is it possible that I have some bigger issues that I need to take a look at?  Whether or not I can resolve my uncertainty, it's healthier to acknowledge my feelings and thoughts  so I can accept it in order for me to move forward.   I will also try to incorporate some type of  self care into my evenings.  I would  mark my transition from daytime to evening with a certain ritual lke reading, meditating or even attempt to exercise.  If I find myself pondering existential-type questions like, “what is my purpose in life?”, I write it out in my notepad or phone and promise myself that I will reevaluate them in the daytime when I have the time and energy ( I always use the term sober )  to take an honest look at myself.  If I find myself battling more random or inconsequential thoughts, I come up with some imagery around setting the thoughts aside. 

The mind is a powerful thing and here I am blogging at 4:42 am  after waking up from an intense dream ( apparently creative people work better in late hours ).   My dreams are often incredibly potent, and interestingly enough, I can force myself to wake up from any sleep. I particularly enjoy dreaming because in the last few years I have been experiencing a deep spiritual connection in the dreamworld, I'll save that explanation for another post. But I still find myself waking up in the middle of the night, and a lot.

I’m curious what your experience is of these times of and how you engage them consciously and what supports you in these vulnerable hours?

"The breeze at dawn has secrets to tell you. Don’t go back to sleep… People are going back and forth across the doorsill where the two worlds touch. The door is round and open. Don’t go back to sleep.”-Rumi

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Boys Like it Better Long

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Photo Credit : Online

I've grown my hair long enough to the point it was a few inches shy above my waist and then would take off 20+ inches right after. Point is, it's not new to me having short or really short hair.  If we have just met within the last decade or so , maybe it was a bit of a shock to witness me taking off my hair.  I can reassure you with the countless photos documented somewhere on Social Media that I first rocked my first short " boy cut " at the tender age of 11. I was inspired by T-Boz's haircut from TLC that@krystleimages and I went and chopped off our locks to rock " short hair" .  Obviously we weren't as cool as T-Boz , although we did form a girl band that lasted about a month!  I can see why my classmates were slightly confused with the little girl with short boy hair cut rocking a floral dress that my mother had picked out for me in Nike velcro sandals with white socks.  I had no curves at eleven and was constantly confused if I was a boy. It was my reality, after a while it stopped bothering me.

What I also noticed about myself was that  I would grow out my hair for a few years and then chop it off.  As the years went by, my "boy cut" became shorter and shorter . I have never regretted any of my hair changes. It was liberating! It's like pushing a reset button in my life and it was so refreshing!  It felt safe to me, I always felt comfortable with change. 

Because what most people neglect to realize is when a woman cuts her hair she's cutting off so much more. Society has the notion of beauty all mixed up. Our eyes are endlessly force fed heaps of servings of larger than life images of luscious locks on models, who are forever adorned. We have been brainwashed into thinking this image is the sole definition of beauty. But hey, my girlfriends have long hair, and they are stunning. I'm cool with it , I still kick it with them 😜

Women have messaged / approach me whom shown great interest in changing their hair but fear the negative responses they may receive . Why should there be any consequences or repercussions because you want to change the way YOU look. Especially the length of your hair ?  It shouldn't have to and if you are reading this and you can relate to this, know there are people out there that will support it and think you are BEAUTIFUL!

"Do men still approach you ? " A question I get asked a lot from women, and interesting enough, no.   I receive more compliments from women then I do from men when I have very short hair ( reverse when I have long hair ) but it never made me feel insecure because when I decided to chop off my hair the first time in 6th grade, I sure as hell was not thinking about what the boys in my class would think.  Now at 33,  I still don't give a shit. Do what makes YOU happy, long or short. 

How do you wake up?

What’s the first thought that goes through your head when you wake up in the morning? Oh sh!t, I'm late for work?  If that is how you start your morning it is likely that your day will be filled with anxiety and stress.

Negative energy can be found almost anywhere.  Whether it be on social media, even a  horrible text that you received in the morning.  There is always someone complaining about life and the emotions they spread may influence your thoughts and actions in a negative way.  As much as there is  always "negative” energy around, there is always  “positive” energy around.  It can be rather mayhem or a magical experience. The choice is ultimately yours.

Naturally you will ask yourself questions throughout the morning, , “ Why am I so tired? Why doesn’t anything fit? Why did I stay out so late? “These things don’t really serve any useful purpose.  Try asking something  positive in the morning. “ What’s the best thing that can happen today? I can’t wait to have lunch with Jane ! or  I can’t wait to make those delicious pancakes…. “

I try to remind myself all the time with my surroundings, whether it be filling my bedroom with soothing music , natural lighting , favourite colours, fragrances... anything to remind me that life is beautiful.  Even waking up to someone that means so much to you like your children, partner or friend.  Simple reminders to always remind you to appreciate that there is a reason for breathing. And if breathing is not something to appreciate and stay positive for, I don't know what else is... well maybe a couple of things but you get what I mean.

It’s proven that if you ask these kind of questions, you start to shift your focus of your mind on positive things that you want to happen. The mind is an extremely powerful thing.